Movie Quotes Blog

Oddball:
Why don’t you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don’t you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don’t you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?

Moriarty:
Crap!

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Pvt. Little Joe:
Joe?

Big Joe:
[shouts] What?

Pvt. Little Joe:
[waves the radio] It’s Mulligan.

Big Joe:
[disgustedly] It’s Mulligan. What the hell does he want?

Pvt. Little Joe:
He says he’s sorry.

Big Joe:
[muttering] Sorry son of a bitch.

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Oddball:
Arf arf arf… That’s my other dog impression.

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Big Joe:
According to this map, we got a river to cross before we get into this town of yours.

Kelly:
Yeah, well there’s a bridge right here, six miles out.

Big Joe:
There was a bridge. The Air Corps knocked every bridge out of that river months ago.

Kelly:
A-ah. Intelligence reports that the Air Corps knocking’em out by day and the Germans rebuilding’em by night. Now all we have to do is get there tomorrow morning at dawn, and we got ourselves a bridge.

Big Joe:
Oh, how about the German Army? Do you think they’d mind us crossing their bridge, eh Kelly?

Kelly:
Probably.

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Major General Colt:
They even got the grave diggers with them!

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FBI Agent Jake Malloy:
What i do is my job, while the thing i care about is at home… being butchered

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Jones:
[Finding Badges littered on the floor] He’s collecting trophies

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Slater:
Run Jenny Run… I’ll coming to cut your f*cking heart out

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FBI Agent Jake Malloy:
I see you… you see this

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Slater:
I see you, but you don’t see me

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Pvt. Babra:
Stop calling me Barbara!

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Big Joe:
[shouting in the radio] Look, Mulligan! I don’t think I’m getting through to you! You’re dropping your damn barrage on our position! The reason you can’t hear me is because you’re firing your mortars at your end, and they’re dropping here, on our end! No, the Krauts are not here! We’re here! Mulligan, your bombs are coming down on our head! I don’t know where the Krauts are! Just lift your goddamn barrage! Over!

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[Bellamy tells him he’s behind enemy lines]

Oddball:
So they tell me. Everybody round here is very friendly. Look, baby, I’m kinda hung up. I need sixty feet of bridge.

Bellamy:
Hey, kid, they haven’t got you in the nut ward again?

Oddball:
Ah, Bellamy, for cryin’ out loud. That’s the the stinking, most awful, stupid joke and you’re always pullin’ that stinking awful stupid joke. You don’t want in this thing, you don’t get in this thing. I cut you out of everything. I don’t need you. Sixty feet of bridge I can get almost anywhere. Schmuck!

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[the lone obstacle to the sought-after gold is a solitary tank guarding the bank]

Crapgame:
Try making a DEAL!

Big Joe:
What kind of DEAL?

Crapgame:
A DEAL, deal! Maybe he’s a Republican. You know, “Business is business.”

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Crapgame:
[Muttering in the minefield] Coulda been in the States playing ping-pong; volleyball… Plenty of broads… Who the hell needs all this? Gonna get my knife & get the hell outta here. Eaaa, lousy equipment! Now I gotta lift up this CANNON; carry it all the way to the front line someplace. Damned thing is heavier that Kelsey’s burgers!

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Big Joe:
[shouting to the captured German Colonel] Look! We’re not worried about the German army, we’ve got enough troubles of our own. To the right General Patton, to the left the British Army, to the rear our own goddamn artillery, and besides all that it’s raining. And the only good thing to say about the weather: it keeps our air corps from blowing us all to Hell because its too lousy to fly, versteh?

Col. Dumpkopf:
[he understands] Ja, ja, versteh.

Big Joe:
OK.

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Oddball:
A Sherman can give you a very nice… edge.

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[at a supply depot somewhere in France]

Oddball:
We see our role as essentially defensive in nature. While our armies are advancing so fast and everyone’s knocking themselves out to be heroes, we are holding ourselves in reserve in case the Krauts mount a counteroffensive which threatens Paris… or maybe even New York. Then we can move in and stop them. But for 1.6 million dollars, we could become heroes for three days.

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Pvt. Little Joe:
Kelly’s even got us armor support.

Big Joe:
[facing Kelly] What armor?

Crapgame:
[interrupting] Three Shermans from the 321st.

Big Joe:
[still facing Kelly] Who’s in command?

Crapgame:
It’s a top line outfit, I personally recommend these guys.

Big Joe:
[turning to Crapgame] Now you butt out, hustler, the only time you come out of the ground is when you smell a profit.

Crapgame:
Oh, yeah, well I’m comin’ out now, because Kelly’s got the perfect caper.

Big Joe:
Sure for you it’s a vacation. Six days out of seven you’re behind the lines, we’re at the broken end of a bottle all the time, so you, BUTT OUT!

[turning back to Kelly]

Big Joe:
Who’s in command?

Kelly:
A guy named Oddball.

Big Joe:
Oddball! He’s a freak!

Kelly:
He’s got three Shermans all ready to go.

Big Joe:
What kind of a guarantee is that? “He’s ready to go.” He’s a nut!

Pvt. Jonesey:
Well we’re all nuts, or we wouldn’t be here!

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Pvt. Cowboy:
God almighty, you guys smell like you fell into a dung heap!

Crapgame:
Kinda makes ya homesick, don’t it?

Pvt. Willard:
[to Pvt. Cowboy] You know it does, kinda ,don’t it old buddy?

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Crapgame:
[into field phone] Hogan? Yeah, it’s me. Listen… I gotta favor to ask ya. Will you quit cryin… I haven’t even asked ya yet! What the Hell’s the matter with you?

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Big Joe:
I thought I told you to bring me some good-looking kid, not this fat, sausage-chewing wino!

Kelly:
Well, if you were looking for a young boy, you should have sent somebody else, Joe.

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Big Joe:
Now when I come back, I want that farmhouse not only clean but completely decorated. Do you understand that?

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Big Joe:
Take that underwear off your head, enh? Enough is enough.

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Big Joe:
…There’s no booze, there’s no broads, there’s no action!

Captain Maitland:
That’s another thing - don’t fool around with the women. Their husbands carry guns. And don’t forget, the penalty for looting is death.

Big Joe:
Loot what? There’s nothing here to loot!

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Big Joe:
[a mortar round lands close, covering everyone in dust]

[muttering]

Big Joe:
Mulligan, you son of a bitch…

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Crapgame:
Hey, Oddball, this is your moment of glory. And you’re chickening out!

Oddball:
To a New Yorker like you, a hero is some type of weird sandwich, not some nut who takes on three tigers.

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Oddball:
Always with the negative waves Moriarty, always with the negative waves.

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Oddball:
Hi, man.

Big Joe:
What are you doing?

Oddball:
I’m drinking wine and eating cheese, and catching some rays, you know.

Big Joe:
What’s happening?

Oddball:
Well, the tank’s broke and they’re trying to fix it.

Big Joe:
Well, then, why the hell aren’t you up there helping them?

Oddball:
[chuckles] I only ride ‘em, I don’t know what makes ‘em work.

Big Joe:
Christ!

Oddball:
Definitely an antisocial type. Woof, woof, woof! That’s my other dog imitation.

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Oddball:
Who is that guy, Crapgame?

Crapgame:
Him? Name’s Kelly. Used to be a lieutenant, pretty good one, too, till they gave him orders to attack the wrong hill. Wiped out a half a company of G.I.’s. Somebody had to get the blame and he got picked.

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[Oddball sees that the bridge he wants to cross is intact and is pleased with himself]

Oddball:
Still up!

[a plane flies over the bridge and bombs it… direct hit]

Oddball:
No it ain’t.

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Oddball:
This engine’s been modified by our mechanical genius here, Moriarty. Right?

Moriarty:
Whatever you say, babe.

[giggles]

Oddball:
These engines are the fastest in any tanks in the European Theater of Operations, forwards or backwards. You see, man, we like to feel we can get out of trouble, quicker than we got into it.

Kelly:
[looking skeptical] Got any other secret weapons?

Oddball:
Well, yeah, man, you see, like, all the tanks we come up against are bigger and better than ours, so all we can hope to do is, like, scare ‘em away, y’know. This gun is an ordinary 76mm but we add this piece of pipe onto it, and the Krauts think, like, maybe it’s a 90mm. We got our own ammunition, it’s filled with paint. When we fire it, it makes pretty pictures, scares the hell outta people! And we have a loudspeaker, when we go into battle we play music, very loud. It kind of… calms us down.

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Oddball:
Crazy! I mean like so many positive waves maybe we can’t lose! You’re on!

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Big Joe:
If I hear any more threats against Captain Maitland’s life, if I hear any more wild talk about going down to headquarters and killing the General, or raping the nurses at the field hospital, I’m going to strangle the guy with my bare hands! You understand that?

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Salt:
You are frightened of the night?

Randy:
Baloney!

Salt:
You are frightened of baloney?

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Sgt. Reginald Cooper:
[addressing his assistant] Driddle! Driddle…Driddle, change your name.

Johnson:
It’s now Johnson, sir.

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[At a crime scene where five cheerleaders have been turned into a “human shish-kebob”]

Photographer:
This must be the act of a maniac.

Reporter:
Either that, or a very large chef.

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Candy:
I’m gonna be like everybody else! I’m gonna make friends! I’m gonna have fun! I’m gonna wear make-up, I’m gonna go out with boys, I’m gonna sleep with truck drivers and get crabs, and I’m gonna finally get to use my diaphragm!

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Randy:
Hey Sandy, want some candy?

Sandy:
Some candy’d be dandy.

Randy:
Hey Candy, want some candy?

Candy:
No candy for me, Randy.

Andy Jackson:
Aw, come on, Candy, have some candy.

Candy:
I said no candy, Andy.

Andy Jackson:
Okay, Candy. I’ll have some candy, Randy.

Randy:
Okay, Randy. I’ll give you Candy’s candy.

Andy Jackson:
Can I also have Mandy’s candy?

Sandy:
No, Randy! Don’t give Andy Mandy’s candy! Give him the candy that’s handy!

Randy:
All right, Sandy. So, Andy, what’s your favorite candy?

Andy Jackson:
Mints.

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Coach Marlowe:
You ever heard of hygiene? Even animals lick themselves clean! I spend a lot of time with my boys in the shower, and I teach them that even body odour isn’t just smell: it’s bacteria, it’s germs.

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Hank Symes:
I swim with the plants and frolic with the sperm.

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Kaddir:
Don’t you choke my cherub!

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Herbert Flay:
But you’re dead. You’re dead!

Paul Toombes:
Why did you do it, my friend? You killed Ellen… and all of the others, too. You wanted everybody to think that it was me. Why, Herbert? Why did you want to destroy me? You love Dr. Death.

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Mark Bannister:
[speaking to Claudia’s husband Kaddir on the phone] Hi, Kaddir, “salaam” back at you.

Claudia:
I won’t talk to him.

Mark Bannister:
[speaking to Claudia] He wanted to know if you were here.

Claudia:
Why?

Mark Bannister:
To let you know he canceled your credit cards.

Claudia:
What? That Middle Eastern maggot! He can talk to my lawyer, the nerve of that towel head!

Mark Bannister:
[back on the phone with Kaddir] Oh, yes, she is very upset about your little love spat, Kaddir.

[now speaking to Claudia]

Mark Bannister:
He says he will forget everything if you just go home and fix dinner for him.

Claudia:
[shouting into the mouthpiece of the phone] Oh, grind some glass, Ayatollah!

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Paul Toombes:
Now I must play the final scene, the death of Dr Death!

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Herbert Flay:
Paul’s on the make. Ellen is on the take. That’s Hollywood.

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