Movie Quotes Blog

Mick O’Brien:
I killed your little brother, but he’s dead because you didn’t stick up for him.

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Mike Lowrey:
You know what man? I’m so sick of this bullsh*t. What, I’m supposed to APOLOGIZE for my family leaving me money? All I EVER wanted to be was a cop. I go out there and take it to the max everyday. I’m the first guy through the door and I’m always the last one to leave the crime scene. So you know what? f*ck you, and f*ck them, and f*ck EVERYBODY that’s got a problem with Mike Lowrey.

Marcus Burnett:
I love you, man.

Mike Lowrey:
f*ck you Marcus.

Marcus Burnett:
I do. You’re cool. You’re my boy.

Mike Lowrey:
Shut up, shut up Marcus. Slow-ass driver. Drivin’ like a bitch. Slow-ass.

Marcus Burnett:
Why I gotta be all that? I’ll take you and me off this f*ckin’ cliff if you keep f*ckin’ with me. Then it’ll be what, two bitches in the sea. Huh, is that it? Is that what you want?

Mike Lowrey:
Shut up, Marcus.

Marcus Burnett:
My wife knows I ain’t no bitch. I’m a bad boy.

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[Casper answers the ringing cell phone]

Casper:
Hello.

Mike Lowrey:
Yeah, can I speak to Romeo?

Casper:
No, there ain’t no Romeo here, asshole.

[Ferguson laughs]

Casper:
[to Ferguson] What the f*ck are you laughing at?

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Warden Bendix:
One way or the other, I’m going to get to the bottom of this.

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Marcus Burnett:
Look, now I ain’t no Wesley Snipes! I just hang out with stupid ass friends, that drive stupid ass cars, that attract a lot of mother f*ckin’ attention!

Mike Lowrey:
You know what, I need to jump over this car and smack you in your peasy ass head that’s what I need to do.

Marcus Burnett:
Well, you know what you’re arguin’ over a mother f*ckin’ french fry.

Mike Lowrey:
It’s not about the french fry, it’s about your lack of respect for other people’s property!

White Carjacker:
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Black Carjacker:
Shut the f*ck up!

Marcus Burnett:
[to Black Carjacker] Hold the f*ck on!

[to Mike]

Marcus Burnett:
You want some bad enough, come get some!

Marcus Burnett:
[suddenly throws coke in the Black Carjacker’s face and kicks him in the crotch, while Mike punches the White Carjacker in the face]

Marcus Burnett:
[Pointing gun at the Black Carjacker, who is on the ground] You like that sh*t? Wesley Snipes, Passenger 57! Now gimme a mother f*ckin’ handy wipe!

Mike Lowrey:
[Pointing gun at the White Carjacker, who is on the ground] Now let’s hear one of those jokes, bitch.

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Mike Lowrey:
Please, man. Married life is easy. You only got one woman to satisfy.

Marcus Burnett:
Yo, man, we ain’t the Cosbys.

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Marcus Burnett:
You better do something quick, ’cause we’re running out of road.

Mike Lowrey:
Who picked this dumb-ass road? On the goddamn road in Miami, *you* run out of it!

Marcus Burnett:
You better come up with an idea fast!

Mike Lowrey:
Why I gotta come up with all the ideas?

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Ferguson:
Watch your f*cking mouth.

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Ferguson:
[as Julie reaches into her bra for a hidden handcuff key] What you got an itch? I’d love to scratch it.

Julie Mott:
[gives Ferguson the finger] Scratch this, okay?

Ferguson:
Yeah I’ll scratch anything you want to you blue-eyed bitch.

Julie Mott:
Did you go to college?

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Marcus Burnett:
Hey man where-where-where’s your cup holder?

Mike Lowrey:
I don’t have one.

Marcus Burnett:
What the f- w’you mean you don’t have one? Eighty thousand dollars for this car and you ain’t got no damn cup holder?

Mike Lowrey:
It’s $105,000 and this happens to be one of the fastest production cars on the planet. Zero to sixty in four seconds, sweetie. It’s a limited edition.

Marcus Burnett:
You damn right it’s limited. No cup holder, no back seat. Just a shiny dick with two chairs in it. I guess we the balls just draggin’ the f*ck along.

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Mike Lowrey:
[to store clerk, who is pointing a gun at Mike] I’m gonna reach for my badge, ok?

Store Clerk:
Badges? Do you want badges motherbitch? I give you badges! 99 cents each.

[throws some badges at Mike]

Store Clerk:
I sell you some.

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Stake-out crook:
Watching the place was my first gig.

Detective Sanchez:
Oh, so does that make you union?

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Marcus Burnett:
[to Mike] I’m not understanding, I - I really don’t.

Store Clerk:
[pointing gun at Marcus] Shut up!

Marcus Burnett:
I mean, do you just attract violence?

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Theresa Burnett:
And you don’t even have your wedding ring on.

[Slams bedroom door shut]

Marcus Burnett:
Damn. Um. Naw Naw I went undercover. And it uh required the taking off of the ring that’s all for a second. But I got the ring, look I just put my hand in my pocket cos that’s where it was and its right back on baby.

[sighs]

Marcus Burnett:
Damn. Can I get a pillow?

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Mike Lowrey:
Hey, hey, what’s this having-a-picnic sh*t in my car?

Marcus Burnett:
Look man, I ain’t getting my sex at home, OK? Don’t deny me this.

Mike Lowrey:
What are you talking about, man? You sleep with a beautiful woman everyday.

Marcus Burnett:
I’m married. That’s what married means. It means you sleep together, but you can’t get none.

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Julie Mott:
Can I help you?

Theresa Burnett:
Yes, I’m here to kill my husband, Marcus Burnett.

Julie Mott:
Uh-huh, and that’d be the tall one or the short one?

Theresa Burnett:
The short one.

Julie Mott:
I thought so.

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Mick O’Brien:
Two carts for me and two carts for Horowitz…for free.

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Marcus Burnett:
This is bad. No, let me call it what is. This is f*cked up.

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Captain Howard:
Ho, what did I say? Did you hear what I said? I heard what I said ’cause I was standing there when I said it.

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Gene Daniels:
My name is Gene Daniels. Call me Mr. Daniels, I like that, don’t call me anything else.

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Marcus Burnett:
He steals our sh*t, kidnaps Julie, shoots at my wife. Oh, we beatin’ him down. We beatin’ him DOWN!

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Marcus Burnett:
Oh, man, that was cold.

Detective Sanchez:
Yeah, so was your mama’s bed.

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Marcus Burnett:
[to Fletch] If you don’t sit your lanky ass down right now, bottom-line, I will knock you the f*ck out.

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Mike Lowrey:
[to the White Carjacker holding a gun to his head] Let me tell you how bad a day you’re having: right now you’re jacking a couple of cops.

White Carjacker:
Oh, yeah? Well, I’m a stand-up comedian. And I SUCK! That’s why I need your car.

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Marcus Burnett:
Mike. Go downstairs and have a Coke and smile.

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Mike Lowrey:
[on Captain Howard and Captain Sinclair, having another vicious argument] They should just bone and get that sh*t over with.

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Mike Lowrey:
Now that’s how you supposed to drive! From now on that’s how you drive!

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Marcus Burnett:
[trying to imitate Mike] Hello, this is Mike Low-rey…

Captain Howard:
He doesn’t talk that way. Try to talk like him, like him! Try to talk sexy. Sexy, you don’t talk sexy enough!

Marcus Burnett:
Cap, Cap! I’ve been there.

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Ramon Herrera:
The only reason you’re here is because there is no room for you anywhere else.

Paco Moreno:
Well, why don’t you get me a room at the Holiday Inn?

Ramon Herrera:
Why don’t you wise up?

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Mick O’Brien:
I’m sorry about your little brother, Moreno.

Paco Moreno:
Oh, you really break my heart, you know that? I’m sorry about your old lady. I’m sorry I didn’t get to finish the job.

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Theresa Burnett:
Oh oh. Don’t kiss me, Mike. I don’t know where your lips were last night. Move.

Quincy Burnett:
Uncle Mike, did you have a date last night?

Mike Lowrey:
Whooo. Did I. Let me tell you, this girl was…

Theresa Burnett:
Hey hey. Don’t you go telling my boys none of your sleazy sex stories.

Mike Lowrey:
Aw, no. I only tell your husband my sleazy sex stories.

Marcus Burnett:
Hey.

Theresa Burnett:
Well, I don’t want him hearing either. Gives him ideas.

Marcus Burnett:
Why are you doing this to me, man? I’m with my babies. Okay? Thank you.

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Marcus Burnett:
[while pursuing Fouchet, who is up ahead in a roadster] You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will be used against you in a court of law.

Mike Lowrey:
Yo man, what the f*ck are you doing?

Marcus Burnett:
Getting it out the way.

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Marcus Burnett:
Do you see the f*ckin’ emotion I’m goin’ through right now? That means this sh*t is serious. That means me and this motherf*cker’s not vibin’ right now. That’s what that sh*t means.

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Marcus Burnett:
[driving the “ice-cream truck”] What am I smellin’?

Mike Lowrey:
Just drive!

Marcus Burnett:
What am I smellin’?

Julie Mott:
[Sees barrels of ether hanging in the back of the van. Reads the label] Ether. Extremely… flammable… ether. Oh sh*t!

Mike Lowrey:
God-damn…

Marcus Burnett:
Oh, you-you-you-you da man. Oh you’re the f*ckin’ man tonight! You go and pick an ice-cream truck that’s a damn bomb!

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[To Lofgren]

Paco Moreno:
I lost my brother. All you lost was some skin.

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Marcus Burnett:
What are our chances?

Mike Lowrey:
Remember Club Hell?

Marcus Burnett:
Yeah.

Mike Lowrey:
Worse.

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Mike Lowrey:
What the hell are you doin’?

Marcus Burnett:
Keepin’ my sh*t quick.

Mike Lowrey:
Oh, I see. You aren’t gettin any at home, so you got a lot of extra energy. Go ahead, burn it off.

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Marcus Burnett:
You know I’m a better cop when I get some in the morning, I feel lighter on my feet.

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[Mike, Marcus, and Julie start arguing, nobody paying attention to his gun; Julie just walks out]

Store Clerk:
Hey, freeze bitch!

Mike Lowrey:
[as he points the gun her way, in a flash Mike and Marcus stop arguing and point their guns at his head] YOU freeze, bitch!

Store Clerk:
Oh sh*t, I’m f*cked.

Mike Lowrey:
Now back up, put the gun down, and get me a pack of Tropical Fruit Bubblicious.

Marcus Burnett:
And some Skittles.

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Viking Lofgren:
Hey, lipsh*tz.

Horowitz:
The name is Horowitz, asshole.

Viking Lofgren:
Horowitz asshole?

Paco Moreno:
I heard it was lipsh*tz.

Viking Lofgren:
Yeah, and if your lip sh*ts, what’s your asshole doin’?

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