Movie Quotes Blog

Melanie Parker:
You’re the most important thing in the world.

Sammy Parker:
No, I’m not. Your job is.

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[Phone rings]

Jack:
What?

Melanie:
I forgot to tell you that Sammy is allergic to shellfish and dander. And also, he’s not allowed to watch commercial TV. And no matter what he says, he has to hold your hand when he crosses the street. Oh, and also, if you go to the playground, I’d like you to check the sandbox first, because you never know what people throw in there. And, also… OK. Bye.

Jack:
Fine.

Melanie:
Fine.

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Jack Taylor:
I just want to find a fish who isn’t afraid of my dark chocolate layer… and of course she’d have to love my cookie too.

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Melanie Parker:
Let’s do this right. Let me freshen up so I’ll feel a little more like a woman and less like a dead mommy.

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Melanie:
You MUST be Kristen’s ex-husband?

Jack:
Why do you say that?

Melanie:
[pointing to Maggie] Well, that’s Kristen’s daughter…

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Jack Taylor:
You aren’t going to fire me. My face is on buses.

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Celia:
You are sensitive and frightened. I am gentle and brutal. Just think about it!

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Jack:
You know what my mother used to say to me?

Melanie:
Gee, no, what?

Jack:
Love your guy like a little boy and he’ll grow into a man.

Melanie:
So she knew back then that you were gay?

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Jack Taylor:
Kick the mean boys in the shins.

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Jack Taylor:
Maggie, when you grow up and are incredibly beautiful and intelligent and possess a certain sweetness that’s… that’s like a distant promise to the brave, to the worthy, could you please not beat to a pulp every miserable bastard that comes your way simply because you can? Could you not do that?

Maggie Taylor:
Okay Daddy.

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Melanie:
Your Peter Pan complex is so 90s.

Jack:
What Peter Pan complex?

Melanie:
The one you’re so proud of.

Jack:
Do you have any friends?

Melanie:
I don’t have time for friends.

Jack:
That’s because of your Captain Hook complex.

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Jack Taylor:
You’re asking me for help.

Melanie Parker:
It would appear that way, wouldn’t it?

Jack Taylor:
I’ll agree if you’ll say, “Jack, please be my knight in shining armor.”

Melanie Parker:
Jack, don’t be a sh*t-head. Go rescue our kids.

Jack Taylor:
This is hard for you, isn’t it?

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Maggie Taylor:
I’m hungry.

Jack Taylor:
Want a Tic Tac?

Maggie Taylor:
No.

Jack Taylor:
That’s all I’ve got.

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Jack:
What would you do if I kissed you right now?

Melanie:
You wouldn’t kiss me.

Jack:
But what would you do if i did?

Melanie:
Do you wanna kiss me right now?

Jack:
I wouldn’t've mentioned it if didn’t.

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Melanie:
I only wanted to warn you that Sammy can get into trouble faster than you can make most women smile.

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