[the Skater walks up to a tank. Eric Sparrow and a Russian guard are sitting against it. The guard is passed out; Eric is noticeably drunk and holding a vodka bottle]
Eric Sparrow:
Wassuuuuup?
[pause]
Eric Sparrow:
Me and Vladimir here are feeling *good* tonight!
[pause]
Eric Sparrow:
Heh-he-he-he-hey… your license good in Moscow?
[he stumbles]
Eric Sparrow:
Ol’ Vlad told me it was ok if we take a test spin…
[Eric takes the keys to the tank from the guard and starts climbing up to the entrance to the tank]
The Skater:
…you can’t be serious.
[the Skater climbs into the tank, as Eric sits in the driver’s seat]
Eric Sparrow:
Oh man, Bam’s gonna be so *jealous* when he finds out about this!
The Skater:
Dude, stop it!
[Eric starts up the tank, and the two fall back with a jerk. As the Skater tries to stop the tank, Eric climbs back out and stands on the top of the tank]
Eric Sparrow:
*Whooooooooooooo!* Yeah, c’mon! On to the bridge!
[He sings a charge theme]
Eric Sparrow:
Do a Smith grind, man, *whoo!*
[Eric looks forward, and sees the museum directly ahead. He blanches, drops his vodka bottle, and jumps off, leaving the Skater behind]
[
Bam Margera is standing on a quarterpipe set, watching Russian tanks drive by, transfixed. Tony Hawk, the Skater and Tony are standing behind him]
Bam Margera:
Mmmm, tanks… aw tank-look at these tanks… *Damn*, look at these tanks…
Tony Hawk:
What’s up? Aren’t you stoked by getting Best New Pro?
The Skater:
Well… it’s not a done deal yet. It’s pretty close between me and Eric.
[Eric Sparrow skates up onto the set to join the others]
Eric Sparrow:
Sup, guys?
[pregnant pause]
Eric Sparrow:
Listen, I’ve been thinkin’, we can’t keep this up. Remember how I used to torch action figures with ya? I - I acted like a dork, I’m sorry, I got carried away.
[Eric extends his hand for a handshake. After much hesitation, the Skater returns the gesture]
Todd the Manager:
[in a mocking tone] Aww, I’m touched, really! Hehe, haaa…
[normal]
Todd the Manager:
Now get out there in front of those cameras and earn your keep!
Bam Margera:
It’s so good, we can’t go skating right now, look at these *tanks*! Damn!…
