Movie Quotes Blog

Pete:
Since we been followin’ your lead, we ain’t got nothing but trouble.

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Ulysses Everett McGill:
I am the only daddy you got! I’m the damn paterfamilias!

Wharvey Gal:
But you ain’t bona fide!

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Delmar O’Donnell:
They… left… his… heart!

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[Discussing how to counter Homer Stokes’ campaign for governor]

Junior O’Daniel:
We could hire our own midget, even shorter than his.

Pappy O’Daniel:
Wouldn’t we look like a bunch of Johnny-come-latelies, bragging on our own midget, doesn’t matter how stumpy.

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Ulysses Everett McGill:
Say, uh, Cousin Wash, I suppose it’d be the acme of foolishness to inquire if you had a hair net.

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Pappy O’Daniel:
And furthermore, by way of endorsing my candidacy, the Soggy Bottom Boys are gonna lead us all in a rousing chorus of “You Are My Sunshine.”

[Applause. Pappy turns away from the mike, towards Everett]

Pappy O’Daniel:
[no-nonsense] Ain’t you, boys?

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Governor, it’s one of our favorites.

Pappy O’Daniel:
Son… you’re gonna go far.

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Ulysses Everett McGill:
I don’t want FOP Damn it, I’m a Dapper Dan Man!

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Ulysses Everett McGill:
I like the smell of my hair treatment; the pleasing odor is half the point.

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Ulysses Everett McGill:
The old tactician has got a plan. For the transportation that is, I don’t know how I’m gonna keep my coiffure in order.

Pete:
How’s this a plan? How we gonna get a car?

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Sell that. I figure it can only have painful association for Wash.

Pete:
[reading] “To Washington Bartholomew Hogwallop, from his loving Cora. Amor Fidel… is.”

Ulysses Everett McGill:
It was in his bureau. I figure it’ll fetch us enough cash for a good used auto-voiture, and a little left over besides.

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Pappy O’Daniel:
Moral fibre? I invented moral fibre! Pappy O’Daniel was displaying rectitude and high-mindedness when that egghead you work for was still messing his drawers!

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Ulysses Everett McGill:
Well, I guess hard times flush the chump. Everybody’s lookin’ for answers… Where the hell’s he goin’?

[as Delmar runs out to be baptized]

Pete:
Well, I’ll be a son of a bitch. Delmar’s been saved!

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Pappy O’Daniel:
It seems that Mr. Stokes has a grudge against the Soggy Bottom Boys, on account of their rough and rowdy past.

[boos]

Pappy O’Daniel:
Seems, Mr. Stokes is the kind of fella who wants to cast the first stone. Well, I’m with you folks. I’m a forgiving, Christian sort of man. And I say, if their rambunctiousness, and misdemeanoring, is behind them…

[turns away from the mike, towards Everett]

Pappy O’Daniel:
[no-nonsense] It is, ain’t it, boys?

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Uh, yes sir, it is.

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[as a noose is flung over Pete]

Sheriff Cooley:
Stairway to heaven. We shall all meet by and by.

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Homer Stokes:
Those boys desecrated a burning cross!

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[Repeated line]

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Damn! We’re in a tight spot!

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George Nelson:
I’m George Nelson, and I’m feeling ten feet tall!

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Homer Stokes:
This band of miscreants, this very evening, interfered with a lynch mob in the performance of its duty.

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Pete:
Do not seek the treasure!

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Ulysses Everett McGill:
You ever been with a woman?

Delmar O’Donnell:
I gotta get the family farm back before I start worrying about that.

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Ulysses Everett McGill:
I’m not sure that’s Pete.

Delmar O’Donnell:
Of course it’s Pete! Look at him!… We gotta find some kind of wizard to change him back.

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Soggy Bottom Customer:
Do you have the Soggy Bottom Boys performing “Man of Constant Sorrow”?

Record Store Clerk:
No ma’am. We got a new shipment in yesterday. Sorry, but we just can’t keep ‘em on our shelves.

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[about to be hung]

Ulysses Everett McGill:
It ain’t the law!

Sheriff Cooley:
The law? The law is a human institution.

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Pete:
You miserable little snake! You stole from my kin!

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Who was fixin’ to betray us.

Pete:
You didn’t know that at the time.

Ulysses Everett McGill:
So I borrowed it until I did know.

Pete:
That don’t make no sense!

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Pete, it’s a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.

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[first lines]

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Say, any of you boys smithies? Or, if not smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin’?

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Interrogator:
Talk, you reconstructed welp of a whore!

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Washington Hogwallop:
I slaughtered this horse last Tuesday. I think it’s startin’ to turn.

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Delmar O’Donnell:
Hey mister! I don’t mean to be tellin’ tales out of school, but there’s a feller in there that’ll pay you ten dollars if you sing into his can.

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Ulysses Everett McGill:
The treasure is still there boys, believe me.

Delmar O’Donnell:
But how’d he know about the treasure?

Ulysses Everett McGill:
I don’t know Delmar. The blind are reputed to possess sensitivities compensating for their lack of sight, even to the point of developing paranormal psychic powers. Now, clearly seeing into the future would fall into neatly into that category; its not so surprising then that an organism deprived of its earthly vision…

Pete:
He said we wouldn’t get get it. He said we wouldn’t get the treasure we seek on account of our ob-stac-les.

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Well what the hell does he know, he’s just an ignorant old man?

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Delmar O’Donnell:
I’m gonna visit those foreclosing son-of-a-guns at the Indianola Savings & Loan, slap that money on the barrelhead and buy back the family farm. You ain’t no kind of man if you ain’t got land.

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George Nelson:
Cows! I hate cows worse than coppers!

[fires his Tommy gun at them]

Delmar O’Donnell:
Oh, George… not the livestock.

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Ulysses Everett McGill:
[Upon being startled awake] Mmmm. How’s my hair?

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Ulysses Everett McGill:
Why are you telling our gals that I was hit by a train?

Penny Wharvey McGill:
Lots of respectable people have been hit by trains. Judge Hobbie over in Cookville was hit by a train. What was I gonna tell them, that you got sent to the penal farm and I divorced you from shame?

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Uh, I take your point. But it does put me in a damn awkward position, vis-a-vis my progeny.

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Pete:
The Preacher said it absolved us.

Ulysses Everett McGill:
For him, not for the law. I’m surprised at you, Pete, I gave you credit for more brains than Delmar.

Delmar O’Donnell:
But they was witnesses that seen us redeemed.

Ulysses Everett McGill:
That’s not the issue Delmar. Even if that did put you square with the Lord, the State of Mississippi’s a little more hard-nosed.

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Homer Stokes:
The color guard is colored!

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Ulysses Everett McGill:
Well, you lying… unconstant… succubus!

Vernon T. Waldrip:
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can’t swear at my fiancé!

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Oh, yeah? Well, you can’t marry my wife!

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Penny Wharvey McGill:
I’ve spoken my piece and counted to three.

Ulysses Everett McGill:
She counted to three. Goddamit! She counted to three. Sonofabitch!

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Big Dan Teague:
So long boys. See you in the funny papers.

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Ulysses Everett McGill:
Tommy, what you ridin’ there?

Tommy Johnson:
Uh… Roll top desk!

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Pete:
Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit?

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Well Pete, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain’t the consensus view, then hell, let’s put it to a vote.

Pete:
Suits me. I’m voting for yours truly.

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Well I’m voting for yours truly too.

[Everett and Pete look at Delmar for the deciding vote]

Delmar O’Donnell:
Okay… I’m with you fellas.

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[last lines]

Penny Wharvey McGill:
Well, we need that ring.

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Well that ring is at the bottom of a pretty durn big lake.

Penny Wharvey McGill:
Uh-uh.

Ulysses Everett McGill:
A 9,000 hectare lake.

Penny Wharvey McGill:
I don’t care if it’s 90,000…

Ulysses Everett McGill:
But honey…

Penny Wharvey McGill:
that lake was not my doing.

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Of course not honey…

Penny Wharvey McGill:
I counted to three, honey.

Ulysses Everett McGill:
No, wait, honey! Finding one little ring in the middle of all that water is one hell of a heroic task!

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Penny Wharvey McGill:
Vernon here’s got a job. Vernon’s got prospects. He’s bona fide. What are you?

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Ulysses Everett McGill:
A woman is the most fiendish instrument of torture ever devised to bedevil the days of man.

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Homer Stokes:
These boys is not white! These boys is not white! Hell, they ain’t even old timey!

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Big Dan Teague:
You don’t say much my friend, but when you do it’s to the point, and I salute you for it.

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Ulysses Everett McGill:
You can’t display a toad in a fine restaurant like this! Why, the good folks here would go right off the feed!

Delmar O’Donnell:
I just don’t think it’s right keeping him under wraps like we’s ashamed of him.

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Well, if it is Pete, I am ashamed of him! Way I see it, he got what he deserved, fornicating with some whore of Babylon. These things don’t happen for no reason, Delmar. It’s obviously some kinda judgment on his character.

Delmar O’Donnell:
Well, the two of us was fixin’ to fornicate!

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Homer Stokes:
And so, we gonna hang us a negro!

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Big Dan Teague:
Thank you boys for throwin’ in that fricassee. I’m a man of large appetite, and even with lunch under my belt, I was feelin’ a mite peckish.

Ulysses Everett McGill:
It’s our pleasure, Big Dan.

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Pete:
My pa always said “Never trust a Hogwallop!”

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Pomade Vendor:
I can get the part from Bristol. It’ll take two weeks, here’s your pomade.

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Two weeks? That don’t do me no good.

Pomade Vendor:
Nearest Ford auto man’s Bristol.

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Hold on, I don’t want this pomade. I want Dapper Dan.

Pomade Vendor:
I don’t carry Dapper Dan, I carry Fop.

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Well, I don’t want Fop, goddamn it! I’m a Dapper Dan man!

Pomade Vendor:
Watch your language, young feller, this is a public market. Now if you want Dapper Dan, I can order it for you, have it in a couple of weeks.

Ulysses Everett McGill:
Well, ain’t this place a geographical oddity. Two weeks from everywhere!

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Ulysses Everett McGill:
I’ll tell you what I am - I’m the damn paterfamilias! You can’t marry him!

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